Alzheimer's Disease

Losing a parent is hard, but when you lose a parent to Alzheimer's Disease, the ground under your feet moves. Not only do you grieve for that parent, but you also grieve for all the years that Alzheimer's Disease stole from you and your parent. You look at your siblings in a whole new light and though you don't say anything, you wonder if you or one of your siblings will have this heart wrenching disease too. My mother was only 69 years old when she died from Alzheimer's Disease. She had it for eight years before she died. My father was her caregiver up until it just became too much for him to handle alone. He did an outstanding job. It has been twelve years since my mother died and everyday I think about her and wonder what would my life be like if she didn't have it. My granddaughter teases me when I forget something. She is only eight years old so I doubt she could understand how I feel when I forget something. A red light goes off in my head and then it's gone, because I am middle aged and it's normal for me to forget things. Every time I see my doctor I mention my fear of Alzheimer's. He tells me I am fine. My kids watch over me and sometimes I think they have a scorecard  with all my mistakes or how long it takes me to find something. There is another reason I seem forgetful, and that is all on me. I have a way of tuning them out when some drama erupts in their life, mainly because no asks what I think. Instead I sit there and think about what I would do if I won the lottery, while throwing in a few "mms". And then I reassure myself that I am fine, my brain still works right, and the only time I should be alarmed is if I put the car keys in the freezer. Still, it's a tricky disease and like cancer, it does not care what color you are, what your age is, and it certainly does it's best to destroy the person who has it as well as the family who loves the patient. I have told my kids if I am a victim of Alzheimer's they are to stick me in a nursing home and don't come back until I am dead.This is the time for me to write this. If you are dealing with an Alzheimer's patient, you are not alone. It may seem that way, but there are tens of thousand people who understand how difficult this is. It's called The Long Goodbye because that is exactly what it is. In the meantime, give yourself a long talk, a hard cry, and forget about the things you forget about. You never know when you might get struck by lightening.